What’s a completely useless fact you love sharing?

View all responses

I’ve been thinking about having a dinner party.

Nothing fancy. Just a few interesting guests, something nice to eat, and hopefully a conversation that doesn’t involve politics.

I’ve invited a giraffe, a flamingo, and a chicken.

Now, before you question my guest list, let me explain.

The giraffe has a tongue approximately twenty-one inches long.

Twenty-one inches!

Apparently, giraffes can even use their tongues to clean their own ears.

I have no idea how that would come up in polite conversation, but I certainly hope it doesn’t happen while we’re passing the mashed potatoes.

Then there’s the flamingo.

Flamingos eat with their heads upside down.

I can already see the problems.

Do I set the table differently? Should I serve soup? Would a straw help?

And how do you politely ask a guest to stop dripping dinner onto the tablecloth when that’s simply the way nature intended them to eat?

Which brings me to the chicken.

You might wonder what a chicken could possibly contribute to such an interesting gathering.

Well, as it turns out, birds are the living dinosaur lineage, and chickens share ancient ancestry with Tyrannosaurus rex.

Yes, that Tyrannosaurus rex.

I’ve been feeding chickens in my backyard for years, completely unaware of their prehistoric connections.

This explains quite a bit about my rooster.

He already walks around like he owns the place. Now imagine what would happen if somebody told him about his family history.

I’d never hear the end of it.

So there we are.

The giraffe is cleaning its ears.

The flamingo has its head in the soup.

And the chicken has demanded to be seated at the head of the table because apparently his ancestors once ruled the Earth.

And I’m sitting there wondering whether I should have just ordered pizza.

But here’s the thing.

I’ve now shared three facts you probably didn’t need to know.

And somehow, we’ve managed to throw an entire dinner party around them.

So perhaps there’s no such thing as useless information.

Although I will admit, I’m beginning to question the usefulness of my guest list.