Daily writing prompt

Have you ever unintentionally broken the law?

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I have a confession to make.

I am a hardened criminal.

Not because of that Texas roll at a stop sign last Tuesday — you know, the kind where you respectfully acknowledge the sign but don’t fully commit — but because I once accidentally jaywalked. And because I made a very ugly face at my neighbor’s golden retriever. In my defense, he started it.

I also recently learned that you are not allowed to tuck your pants into one boot unless you own at least ten head of cattle. This was news to me. I regret nothing.

While I have never technically milked someone else’s cow, I feel like tonight might be the night. For the record, I am not even lactose tolerant, which really undermines my criminal ambitions.

I’m told that in the state of Texas, your windshield wipers must work, but you are not legally required to have a windshield. Make that make sense.

I will not, however, be shooting a buffalo from the second story of a hotel. I promise. I have my limits.

So yes, I may be a criminal.
But I am a polite one.
A cautious one.
And, most importantly, one who uses turn signals.

Signed,
The Lactose-Free Longhorn